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Biderman says he is happily married and regards his venture as a release valve for those in sexually unfulfilling, but otherwise effective, unions.
In myths, novels, and films, from Helen of Troy to Hester Prynne in to Diane Lane in 2002’s_ Unfaithful, _the affair of the rare philandering female is the centerpiece of the story, and its punishments are draconian (the Trojan War, ostracism and branding with an A, being cast in In the real world, with greater professional equality between the genders and third-wave-feminist sexual liberation, are women cheating for the same reason that men have throughout history, as Megan’s profile suggests—that is, to sate their sex drives and gratify their egos? "Megan has picked Coppelia, a Latin American diner at the border of Chelsea and the West Village in Manhattan, and she’s waiting in a booth when I arrive.
In the spirit of this gender reversal, I invite you to picture me as Carrie Bradshaw, sprawled out on her bed with her Power Book G3, as she voice-overs, "I couldn’t help but wonder: Are unfaithful women the new adulterous men? She recognizes me from my profile photo, and I slide in across from her.
"I find myself living my life in the third person and deciding whether it’d be a good story." She takes a sip of beer.
"I want it to be dramatic."Since then, she’s averaged one or two new men per year, with a few women sprinkled in, and in the digital age has supplemented her search with Ashley Madison, Craigslist, and Cougar Life.
Megan prefers younger men whom she can think of as her "boy toys—my playthings." She asks how old I am.
I tell her 33, and she points at me and says, "That’s my perfect age." Later she clasps her hand over mine for a few seconds when I make a joke.Soon after, she removes my glasses without asking permission. "They need to smell good to me: healthy, alive, confident."Your glasses are so clouded, I need to clean them," she explains, wiping them on her shirt. I can smell fear; I want them to smell like they deserve me.I She tells me that she’s been corporeally disloyal in relationships since she started having sex at 16 and has don’t-ask, don’t-tell permission to frolic with other lovers from her "nerd" husband of nearly two decades, with whom she has several children.She hoped marriage would change her cheating ways, but two years later found herself straying—as much out of a lust for life as for flesh."I’m a dirty old man trapped in a woman’s body," she says."I lust after younger men the way dirty old men lust after younger girls.I’m carpet bombing them with the same boilerplate message, suggesting, with unsurpassed creativity and seductiveness, that we get together for a drink.I’m on Ashley Madison.com, the behemoth of extramarital-dating sites, whose controversial slogan is "Life is short. But you probably don’t know anyone on it—or at least anyone who admits to being on it.What, exactly, is compelling these married women to set up "sexy dates" in droves, aside from easy Internet access?For years, our collective narrative of the errant housewife has run thusly: Neglected by her aloof or abusive husband and dying a slow death from her suburban prison, she falls into the arms of a dashing, romantic gentleman.