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The Freeh Report had far-reaching outcomes for Penn State.
The NCAA used the Freeh Report in lieu of its own investigation to impose sanctions on the Penn State football program.
The most typical answer I get is 11, sometimes 13, sometimes younger. Sometimes they felt they needed to know what people were talking about, or an older boy had said, “Hey, look at this.” Boys will say things to me like “When I was 11, I looked up ‘big boobies.’” With just a couple of clicks, that search can lead them to images or videos they’re not prepared to understand or process.
What I always say to parents is, if you’ve never gone on Pornhub to see what is there for free—on the opening page—then you have no idea what we’re talking about. Research suggests a positive correlation between heterosexual guys who look at porn regularly and those who support same-sex marriage. Ah, but they’re also less likely to support affirmative action for women. It’s bizarre to me that because of our own squeamishness, we’re unable to engage with our children.
the largest porn site on the internet, watched about 92 billion sexytime videos last year. But I have two young sons; I don’t want them to end up incapable of being aroused by an in-the-flesh human because their first encounter with sex was a clip of a porpoise-pudenda’d MILF getting jackhammered. The author of is currently working on a book about boys, masculinity, sex, love—and yes, porn. The first thing I recognized when I started working on the new book was that the question to ask boys is not whether or if they watch porn.
As part of her research, she’s interviewing high school– and college-age males across the country. The question is, when was the first time they saw it?
Generally, at first contact they don’t have an aroused response; they’re slightly repelled or unsure, or they think, “Well that’s weird.” They just don’t know what to do with that when they’re little.
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But when I’m talking to 16-, 17-, 18-year-old straight boys (I’ve talked to gay boys too, and that’s a different conversation), I’ve heard a range from “I recognize it as something separate, fantastical, and removed from my interactions with actual partners” to “I started feeling it was affecting my relationship and my sex life and the way I view girls, and I’ve stopped.” Some boys were concerned that real sex was feeling less arousing, and they didn’t like that. The biggest surprise for me as a parent has been how hard we now have to work to protect our kids’ imaginations from predatory, addictive websites that want to sell things to them—or sell them to advertisers.
You should have already spoken to your kids about relationships and human behavior and sexuality.
So that when you get to the porn conversation, you have a foundation. When you talked to teens about how they reacted to porn, what did they say?
Given that we live in a world where porn is as accessible as cat videos … Kids have to be able to contextualize, to deconstruct it.
Just like they need to do with other forms of media.