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Advice for dating your exhusband

Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.1. It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush.(I'm going to use female pronouns for your friend, and male pronouns for your sweetie, for the sake of simplicity; however, every rule here applies no matter the genders of the participants.) Keep your friend's secrets.I would hate to think he would hesitate to call me because I put him on the spot. – I am a lonely painter, I live in a box of paints, Boston date.

If he doesn't want to be with you like that -- if he has turned you from wife into platonic best friend -- well, yes, it's going to sting. You can feel safe knowing that whatever happens, this man adores you.

And it may take you some time before you can jump in and remodel his home. I'm pretty sure he'll go out of his way to help you cope with the rejection he doesn't feel the same way. Please do not let this turn into an unrequited love situation where you're remodeling his home so that he can live there with someone else with him never knowing that you were an option.

And please, please, please -- give us an update when you know what's what. Should she risk the perfect friendship she has with the father of her children by asking him on a date?

Do you think he has feelings for her based on his close ties to her -- even when their kids aren’t involved? Anyone have a friendship like this with an ex-spouse?

Not least of all we have our children's welfare in common. It is my pleasure to help him - not only is it fun for me but I really enjoy his company. He never acts romantic at all and gives me no indication that he would like the relationship to evolve. I'd love to ask him to go out with me on a regular date: something fun, like a movie or concert.

But I have some self-esteem issues surrounding my failed relationships.

He came to every birthday party, and eventually every party we ever had he came as a friend and part of the family.

We remember being married and having many good times together. He has helped me even when my boyfriend was living with me recently. We get along really well and have the same sense of humor and ethics. He is now doing his own remodel and asked me to help him with the design.

Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.

Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.

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